I could have been working on that

I’m a grad student in Computer Science, studying how people use intelligent systems like predictive typing, and how using those systems shapes the people who use them. But as I have been approaching the end of my PhD, something has been weighing on me: I still don’t know how to use all I’ve been learning to have a positive impact in the world.

I often felt a certain discontent when I reflected on my research. Somehow, despite finding an advisor who seemed to care about doing good in the world, my work was solving first-world problems at best (in the rare moments my work was successful). I would pray something like, “God, why can’t I be doing work that actually helps people?!” — with a mix of frustration at my poor choice of projects, envy of those who were doing that kind of work, and hope that maybe, somehow, I might find a way to do something “good”…

I tried various things. I helped organize a hackathon for Christians in tech to support the work of various nonprofits. The hackathon got a lot of interest, which I tried to leverage in order to build a community of Boston-area technologists and nonprofits that could solve problems together. I’ve befriended several homeless people, and tried to support the various organizations that try to help them. I tried to network with other tech-for-good and international development people in the area. But nothing went anywhere.

Earlier this year, as I read the ancient prophets like Isaiah, Amos, and Malachi calling out injustice and oppression in their days, I was struck by how apt their words still are today. At the same I was also reading Virginia Eubanks’ book Automating Inequality. And as she denounced three different technological systems that oppressed the poor, I realized that I could see myself working on any of them while waking up each morning thinking that I’m working on something that is helping people. Perhaps projects that sell themselves as being for social good have an especially high risk of actually doing harm.

Looking back, perhaps my prayers to find work with social impact weren’t getting answered because before I could work on using tech for good, I needed to grapple with how it could be used for harm, especially unintentionally. So even though many wise people would say I shouldn’t be taking another class at this point in my career, that’s why I’m here.

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